Cold To The Bones

Wintertime
Cold and blackout time
People are starving
Thirsty and without a dime.

Pandemic time as well
As panic time
No light to heat
Food in freezer
Has gone bad
Since yesterday.

There should be a distance
Between people
Covid is still at large
Yet forced we are
Abandoning our shelters
For food supplies
And anything
That might warm us up.
Since what we had is perished
Due to lack of light.

But…
It’s not just us
It’s the whole community
We are all suffering
The big board game
The untouchables are playing.
We’re mere pieces
To toss and turn
To give some light
Or to freeze to death.

Zone of disaster we are called
Yet I see all of those big houses
With brilliant lights.
They tell us to unplug everything
They tell us to keep a low temperature
In our thermostat.
They tell us is our fault!

Yet…
I see those big houses
With Christmas lights
I see the businesses
Having their best time.

Is it just me?
Or is this
Just another political gamble
Just another way to torture
The masses in order
To win some big bucks
The old way…

I wonder…

Dirty House

By Rosalva Ruiz (SuperNova)

Is it the lack of will?
As I take part of the couch
I see the kids running
Screaming
Throwing legos around.

My head throbs
Poisonous cheers
Thorns prickling
My already wounded mind.
Bombs echoing my soul.

I take a look outside
The palms dance
With the beat of the wind.
Like two lovers embracing
Acknowledging each other’s presence.
Bodies entangled
And moving with ease
Circling with poise
What a beautiful sight.
My heart aches
Don’t know yet
If it’s by the lovely sight
Or the rumbling inside.

Teachers bleed their knowledge
I tell my kids “eyes on-screen.”
After a while
They get annoyed
And start hacking the system.
Two screens are shown
One with the teacher
The other
A youtuber it seems.

They forget
I know they do
So I become
That security guard
That unpleasant person
That keeps them on a leash.
I try my best to block
Their indifference
Sometimes
To the point of defiance.
My throat hurts
My heart aches
I block my tears.
They seem startled
For the moment
And back down temporarily.

I see my house being unattended
I keep feeling the urge
Yet they keep looking for an opportunity.
So I sit in this lousy couch
Like a watcher
Feeling insecure
Feeling the pressure
Trying to stop
Screams of joy
So the scholars pay attention.

This feeling of loneliness
This feeling…

I avert my gaze to the window
Once again
I see
Those dancing partners
I’m starting to envy them
Such lovely freedom.

I guess it’s finally getting me

This isolation

This impotence when it comes
To the school’s electronic devices.

The attention I give
To three different grade levels.

At the same time making
Food for them.

Trying to stop words
Coming out from their mouths
I have never said
In front of them.

All thanks to youtube
Thanks to the lack of admins permission
On the school’s electronic device.

Then again
grateful for this device
During these troubling times.

The pressure of them
Making a B or better.

It’s all scrambled eggs
Including the eggshells
They keep hurting
every time I chew and swallow.

I guess
Just like a dirty house
That needs to be cleaned
My soul
Also needs to be cleansed.

Words From Within

By Rosalva Ruiz (SuperNova)

I wouldn’t say
It’s a poem per say
It’s an out cry
From inside
Bleeding lines
Looking for a healing tonic
To induce an unfinished scar
While praying this pain
Is but another past
Another world
I can cast aside
Another reality
Written in paper
With this humble hand
Deliberating
If I should also
give it breath
Or just burn it
As if a secret mission
Never to be known.

Raw honey
That smoothens
My rough throat
Untying this knot
Giving reign
To this voice
To this pen
To this written page.

Glass like tears
Melted
Purified water
To be drank again
And again
Until others knots
Are untied as well.

Raw words
Not beautified
Just outlined
A beginning to an end
And end to begin
That is all…

Is This Really Goodbye?

What exactly am I looking for
In those crispy eyes?
A bit of your soul?
A reflection of my own?
But all I see is
Emptiness
Disgust
Not even
a hint of remorse..

And I…
I gave you
Everything
My time
My mind
My heart
I gave you my all
Without contemplating
My soul.

Yet all I see
Are those crispy eyes.
Not even a smile
Just an empty carcass
No love, no sentiment
Nothing
Is this really goodbye?

History In My Eyes

Life is but a book
The writer is but a politician
History is repeated
Just like any other book
The difference
Is the writer
The politician behind the pen
The plot is always the same
Sometimes well outlined
Sometimes lazy pillars
Either way
They both collapse 
In the reader’s eyes
Either at the middle
Or the end
But it’s always the same.
I see sickness of the mind
In these troubling times
I’ve seen how people
Get greedy with opportunities
I’ve seen a lousy storyteller
Light the last firework
To incite violence
And distract
The local readers. 

A mere copycat
Trying to rewrite
History’s thorn past.
Lost souls
In flames
In despair
Segregated
Malnourished
Hunger of hatred
Is what he seeks
Filming second-rate movies
For the world to see
Idiocracy at its full. 

And yet
I can’t seem to understand
The ignorant
I still can’t understand
The greedy
Much less
The influence
Of a mere liar. 

Is it sweet
yet stupid whisper?
Is a movie maker
More important
Than a leader?
Is a barricaded coward better
Than peaceful confrontation? 

Wake up America!
Terrorism is within
Is covered in fur
Doesn’t matter the softness
It was still teared from the prey!
Don’t shut your eyes
Don’t cover your ears
Don’t be distracted by lies
Don’t lose yourself in the fog.
Don’t
Please just don’t…

Shut Eyes

By Rosalva Ruiz (SuperNova)

I guess I knew
But I shut my eyes
I’ve imagined every excuse
You could think of
But never the color
Never the heritage
Never the roots of it all.

Thinking back
There was a time
When I lived at a small town
I was but seven
And fascinated with magic
Funny enough
A family of five
Came into town.

They were witches
The grownups said
They might put a spell on ya
They said and with that
Voiced barriers were made.

But I wanted to learn magic
Due to circumstances
I wanted to cast a spell
And protect myself.
I wanted to be invisible
To the masked people.
So either I died trying
Or never be able to.

And yes
A magic spell was cast
“Friendship”
The most beautiful there was.
I learned so many things
But never magic.
Sometimes
I was invisible to some people
Since they thought
I was stained
Which didn’t really matter
Since I was having other
Much more troubling affairs
At that time.

I once asked them
Why is everyone saying
You all are witches and yet
You all don’t know any magic?
Antonio’s mom answered
With a pained smile
“Well, it just came to be that way.”
I couldn’t understand why
She answered that way.

In fact I couldn’t understand
How his dad was always
Looking for a job
He often was fired
After a week or two of getting hired.

He was a loving father
He never drank
I never saw him raise his voice
He could do just about anything.
In my eyes, he was such a good guy
I just couldn’t understand it.

After a year
They left town
I never saw them again.

I didn’t get it back then
They were having a hard time coping
Getting acknowledged despite their looks
They barely had money for food
Yet they always invited me
To whatever they had in the table.

Why was I so naive back then?
Why didn’t I see the injustice?
Why did I shut my eyes?

Strand

There was no God
To be spoken to…

Broken

No miracle
No magic casted…

Broken

Just one strand
That one freaking strand
I hung to…

Clung

No matter how beaten…

Desperately

No matter how deep into soil…

Brazenly

Even when crumbled…

I clung

Clung to that
one shining strand…

And I

Depended of
That one and only…

Sanity

Today is a broken day…

Faith

Yet tomorrow will be
another page…

Yes

This one insignificant strand…

Sanity combined with faith.

Roots

Roots are engraved in my veins
It’s not the culture
It’s the warmth that emanates from it.


It’s the soft song
That makes you dance along.

It’s the perfect amount of spice
That gives us that savory bite.

Like that piece of heaven
You found in a far away land
And with just that memory
Makes a watery mouth.

One can even taste

the smell in the air
From that place
Transporting you to another time
To  a world
That only one knows.

From time to time
There may be some bitter drinks
On the way.

Even a hangover the next day
Yet our roots are stronger
That even with any storm
Our roses will flourish.

This…
This is my family
This is my culture
These are my roots.

Raíces

Raíces están grabadas en mis venas
No es la cultura
Es el calor que emana de ella.

Es esa suave canción
Que te hace bailar a su ritmo.

Es la cantidad perfecta de especias
De esa suculenta comida.

Es ese pedazo de cielo
Que encontraste en algún lugar lejano
Y que…
Con tan solo recordarlo
Se te hace agua la boca.

Inclusive…
Hasta puedes sentir
el aroma del lugar
Transportandote a otros tiempos
A un mundo
donde solo uno conoce.

Podrán haber tragos amargos
De vez en cuando
Tal vez…
La cruda al día siguiente
Mas las raíces son mas fuertes
Que las rosas florecen
Aun despues de tempestades.

Así… así es mi familia
Así es mi cultura
Así mis raíces..

Sudden goodbye

By Rosalva Ruiz (SuperNova)

I guess…
When it comes to the sudden goodbyes
It’s not the goodbye
but the regrets
That come along with it
And pierce my peaceful mind.

Like the dreams
That are forever gone
From the cub in transition.
Like the heroic moment
that stabs you from behind.
The life saved from the fallen
From the unwanted
from the feared
From the egoistic and uncivilized
Exchanged with the bullet taken
By your mind literally and consciously.

Like the understanding
Of people standing
Watching
Unmoving
Frozen in fear.
Yet why?
Why did you move?..
Why is it that the heroes
Always die?
Why is it that the brave
The caring
The explosive compassion
Is always extinguished first?

Chained in bed…
That is…
Another part of my regret.
Your last goodbye
A parade with a serenade.
People following
They sang along
They walked with you
And others were waiting ahead.
Some just watching
And not knowing
Others with a hand
In their heart
For bravery is in front
Passing in silence
With “Un día a la vez”
And us with a knot
In our throat.

This was the last goodbye…
Yet
I wasn’t there
That alone…

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