THE SAME, YET NOT REALLY

By Rosalva Ruiz

There is nothing worse than drowning oneself in agony and despair.  Just like a painting that seems exquisite to viewers; to the artist, each stroke comes with exploding emotions that either elevate your soul or bring you down to the depths of hell. The latter happened to me, to the point of almost no return. I didn’t even realize what I was doing tormenting myself with the way I felt and lived, until my 4th child arrived.  It was thanks to my sister-in-law that I met wonderful people who taught me how to love, express myself and say no when needed.

At first, I was skeptical with going somewhere without knowing what to expect; however, once I was there, my life changed. Without being afraid of being dejected, I finally spoke my wants and needs. A world full of possibilities was waiting for me and not just hopelessly await for the end of the day.  I finally understood that my past was getting the best of me, thus leaving me suffering with every step I took.

Of course, this doesn’t mean I don’t get depressed now, or that I don’t get anxious when I’m around people (which is kind of ironical since I’m a social event photographer). Anyways, I’m just saying that now I understand myself better and embrace my sad moments converting them in another stepping stone to keep on walking with my head held high. Not because of pride, but because that is also a part of myself.

Also, my life has been full of wonderful things that I didn’t pay attention to before since I was too engrossed with other aspects of my life.  Thanks to these encounters, I realized that through writing I could express myself better than in person. Thus I started writing almost a year ago.  Even though it’s still lacking in many ways, this is a path I have chosen.

I haven’t changed that much, at least that’s what I think; then again, I know that I am not the same as I once was.

*Hi, everybody, God bless. Once again, this is my story for the anecdote day of Mcallen Public Library. If anybody is interested here is the link:

Yo

Libertad de aceptarme
Libertad de quereme tal cual soy
Libertad de expresarme
Y de aceptar a los demás
Sin mascaras
Sin venganzas
Ni reproches
Simplemente
Afrontar malas
O buenas decisiones
Sacar los esqueletos
Y volverlos cenizas
Esparcirlos a la deriva
Y embarcarnos
En una nueva etapa
De nuestras vidas.
Y así sea
que seguro volarás.

Who am I?

I like to call myself SuperNova. The reason is simple, my wish is to make people stop and reflect on what they know, what they wish to know and what they want to become.

A supernova is the big blast before extinguishing giving the energy and what is needed to have a new beginning. That is my wish for you and for me as well. To end the past, and to start your new you.

Let’s not forget, we are students until the day we graduate from this world; hence, let’s keep on learning.

  • There will be two sections of fantasy/fiction novels.
  • and last but not least a poetry section.

Just a heads up, my life has been a bit different than other people, I decided to pour my heart and soul, my deepest secrets as well as my deepest sorrows. Life is not just about the sadness but also about the joy and teachings from those experiences. I was once lost, but now I’ve found myself…

  • Why am I blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal? Well, let’s just say that I been keeping it inside for quite a while, and I believe there are other people who also need this. They need to know they are not alone. I needed that, more than anything at that time. I needed to know that things like this happen to a lot of people, and also I needed to know that it was not my fault. It was nobody’s fault. It was just something that happened and there is nothing you can do about the past; however, you can mark your present and can plan your future. You might not have had the means in the past, but you can acknowledge it, learn from it and use it as a stepping stone to better your future.