Cold To The Bones

Wintertime
Cold and blackout time
People are starving
Thirsty and without a dime.

Pandemic time as well
As panic time
No light to heat
Food in freezer
Has gone bad
Since yesterday.

There should be a distance
Between people
Covid is still at large
Yet forced we are
Abandoning our shelters
For food supplies
And anything
That might warm us up.
Since what we had is perished
Due to lack of light.

But…
It’s not just us
It’s the whole community
We are all suffering
The big board game
The untouchables are playing.
We’re mere pieces
To toss and turn
To give some light
Or to freeze to death.

Zone of disaster we are called
Yet I see all of those big houses
With brilliant lights.
They tell us to unplug everything
They tell us to keep a low temperature
In our thermostat.
They tell us is our fault!

Yet…
I see those big houses
With Christmas lights
I see the businesses
Having their best time.

Is it just me?
Or is this
Just another political gamble
Just another way to torture
The masses in order
To win some big bucks
The old way…

I wonder…

Dirty House

By Rosalva Ruiz (SuperNova)

Is it the lack of will?
As I take part of the couch
I see the kids running
Screaming
Throwing legos around.

My head throbs
Poisonous cheers
Thorns prickling
My already wounded mind.
Bombs echoing my soul.

I take a look outside
The palms dance
With the beat of the wind.
Like two lovers embracing
Acknowledging each other’s presence.
Bodies entangled
And moving with ease
Circling with poise
What a beautiful sight.
My heart aches
Don’t know yet
If it’s by the lovely sight
Or the rumbling inside.

Teachers bleed their knowledge
I tell my kids “eyes on-screen.”
After a while
They get annoyed
And start hacking the system.
Two screens are shown
One with the teacher
The other
A youtuber it seems.

They forget
I know they do
So I become
That security guard
That unpleasant person
That keeps them on a leash.
I try my best to block
Their indifference
Sometimes
To the point of defiance.
My throat hurts
My heart aches
I block my tears.
They seem startled
For the moment
And back down temporarily.

I see my house being unattended
I keep feeling the urge
Yet they keep looking for an opportunity.
So I sit in this lousy couch
Like a watcher
Feeling insecure
Feeling the pressure
Trying to stop
Screams of joy
So the scholars pay attention.

This feeling of loneliness
This feeling…

I avert my gaze to the window
Once again
I see
Those dancing partners
I’m starting to envy them
Such lovely freedom.

I guess it’s finally getting me

This isolation

This impotence when it comes
To the school’s electronic devices.

The attention I give
To three different grade levels.

At the same time making
Food for them.

Trying to stop words
Coming out from their mouths
I have never said
In front of them.

All thanks to youtube
Thanks to the lack of admins permission
On the school’s electronic device.

Then again
grateful for this device
During these troubling times.

The pressure of them
Making a B or better.

It’s all scrambled eggs
Including the eggshells
They keep hurting
every time I chew and swallow.

I guess
Just like a dirty house
That needs to be cleaned
My soul
Also needs to be cleansed.

End of year 2020

By Rosalva Ruiz (SuperNova)

Waves of black feathers sea
Fuzzy lights on the street
Cold…
Humid and desertic
Nothing like past years
A few cars parked in restaurants
Too few for these holidays…
2020 is coming to its end
Vaccines are a trend
Starting today.

Will next year be ok?
Who knows…
Will the broken be complete again?
Can’t say…
Will the broken links be whole again?
Depends…
At very least I know for sure
This year was unexpected
It crawled under my skin
With terror
With uncertainty
My faith was shaken
Too many times
And I’m still standing
Still dreaming
Still hoping
I am still saying
Merry Christmas
And blessed New year
May God console your soul
And please stay strong.
Tomorrow will come
Tomorrow will be another day
Today will be left behind
To be displayed
In written memoirs
In history books
And above all in stories
To be told…

Resilience by Rosalva Ruiz (SuperNova)

I finally understood
What my mom said
Back in the day…

“To be in the light
But with sight in the dark.”

Politics
Is a nasty place to get sick.
While my heart was in a storm
The so called friends
Who I haven’t heard from
Since long ago
Started knocking at my door.
Although with smiles and concerns
They were asking for my kin
The knives on their backs
Were visible enough…

“To leave a good impression”

With a composed face
And a tender smile
I said
“thanks, everything is fine.”
Always cry in the dark
Unless
there is no other choice…

“To save all your contacts”

Hospitals were in full capacity
The ambulance was driving
without destination.
Netting
For a simple bed and a machine
We were in search.
What a simple task
But what a big deal to catch.

“To think ahead, just in case.”
According to the numbers,
It had to be outside our state
the closest
Was to the west.

A call to the ambulance
To state our decision
To the west is our quest.
With extreme precautions.
Also
“We are running out of time”
They said…
We were in despair.

After a few calls
Finally! we have a bed
A machine as well
There was no time to spare.

We were all in different places
Through WhatsApp
We were connected.
Hearing
Even with his short breath
His last words
Were grand…
For us to take care
That exposing himself
For others to stay safe
He would gladly do it again.
For us to not let any dispute
Get between us
To be closer
And live to the fullest
And lastly
That he loves us
And if God wants it
He will follow…
We broke in tears.

While saying he is fine
To the butchers
In our shut doors
We prayed for his recovery
We made promises
To La Virgencita.

Now
It seems funny
How things come in bundles
After eight long days
Of being in dismay
Hanna came to play.
Although the damage was minimal
At my place
Flooded halls
Were at the hospital.
Afraid we were
And the hyenas
Were at full swing
Messages, phone calls
They were driving me insane
Anxiety crept in my heart.

The power was on
And that he was still alive
At least
That we knew
But nothing more…

After the 12th day
We received a message
A hoarse voice
Saying
“Que hubooo? Como andaaan?”
I squeezed my cellphone
And burst in tears of joy.

I thought it was over
I thought that was it
But the wolves were hunting
They wanted their prey.
An ambulance came out
A two hours way
A wreck was on the way…
Another car was on the back
And my kin was finally safe…

This, I also learned
To never forget
Smiling faces
aren’t always friends.

Resilience…
Human kind is bound to be resilient…

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